How to find me: Office: Somewhere in the MEEM... Email: jpbialas@mtu.edu Phone: Home: 906-334-2724 Work: 906-487-3476 Pager: You know the mtupage routine by now. Computer: I frequent the following computers: sibum.pair.com pinball.me.mtu.edu Radio: Call: kb8ynf Repeaters: 146.88 (-) Hancock, MI Simplex: 146.58 WWW: http://www.bialas.org Yeah, I sold out... Gopher: RIP Gopher! pace1.cts.mtu.edu:7000 (This will probably be going away soon) Schedule: I always forget to post this here. Just check my door. Quotes: "It involves software, so it sucks. But we may be able to make it suck in a controlled, stable way, and distribute the pain and unpleasantness in an equitable manner." -mikea@okcforum.org "I often get people who see me walking down the hallway and dart out of their office to ask "Is there a problem with the network?" My normal response is "Usually"." -mikey@sanjoseweb.com "Have you walked through a high school lately? Can you discern the stoners from the computer club members from the bullies or gang-bangers anymore? NO. Not to any degree of consequence. Outside of the software industry, who else is capable of efficiently sorting these people? What else can implement a framework which recursively inspires & empowers younger generations to develop its future? They don't need to grow up. They can go grab vaguely technical computer-type jobs right now. The customers we make *today* are the cube-mates you'll meet tomorrow." -Tristan A. Farnon "leisure town #20" "Sometimes we've made a mistake, sometimes we've embarrassed ourselves, and sometimes we've made a complete balls-up of a situation and we find ourselves staring up from the ground into the face of an Emergency Medical Technician." -JD Tuccille (http://www.akula.com/~tooch/fullauto/auto5.html) "On rural roads keep a sharp eye out for deer crossing signs and keep a couple of fingers poised to squeeze those binders. In fact, you probably should be ready for deer anytime. Deer don't know spit about the rules of the road and will assume they have the right-of-way almost every time. Oh....and don't forget they can't read. Those dummies don't always cross the road where the highway department puts the signs up. If you spend a lot of time riding in deer country, you may want to invest in a pair of those deer whistles. You can usually get them at any store that sells sporting goods. They are available in plastic and metal. My advise is to get the metal ones and keep the receipt. The metal ones have the greatest chance of staying in one piece after you center punch a deer, so when you hobble into the store on crutches with your receipt and worthless deer whistle you will have something to show them to get your refund." -Mr. Thrifty, "Minnesota Motorcycle Monthly" Any research done on how to efficiently use computers has been long lost in the mad rush to upgrade systems to do things that aren't needed by people who don't understand what they are really supposed to do with them. -Graham Reed "Talent does what it can, genius what it must. I do what I get paid to do." -unknown All parts should go together without forcing. You must remember that the parts you are reassembling were disassembled by you. Therefore, if you can't get them together again, there must be a reason. By all means, do not use a hammer. -- IBM maintenance manual, 1925 Here is my backup plan: If it does turn out to be real and I just didn't believe it, well, that's because I've reached this, like, hyperspace, higher plane of cynicism where all reality and the people in it are a ridiculous pageant for my amusement. -Tycho of Penny Arcade on MAVAV